The Secrets of Happy Families

The Secrets of Happy Families

by Bruce Feiler

William Morrow Paperbacks, New York, 2013.

This fascinating book is full of stories of successful families who have used teamwork methods and techniques – many of them from successful businesses - with their own families. Scattered among the author’s personal visits to interview many of these families are 200+ thoroughly-tested tips for creating happy families and happy couples. He then goes the extra mile and brings many of these ideas home to test them out with his wife and twin daughters. Along with the tips, he adds priceless insights from his extensive research and his own experience.

A family columnist for the New York Times, Bruce Feiler has cleverly organized the three sections of the book into three tip types: Adapt All the Time, Talk A Lot, and Go Out and Play.


Some memorable suggestions:


• For couples: If you want to have a serious conversation with a family member, don’t sit across the table, as that may encourage conflict. Sit side by side; it fosters collaboration.
• If having a fight, keep it to 3 minutes. Research shows the rest is all repetition and escalation.
• If you want to bribe your kids to do something that’s good for them that they don’t want to do, give them the payoff up front. “Here is five dollars. If you add three vegetables this month, you get to keep it. If you don’t, you have to give it back.” Feiler says they tried it and, “It worked!”
• From Warren Buffet’s banker: “…the more parents talk to their kids about debt, the less debt they rack up; the more they hear about savings, the more they sock away." (p. 103)


For more tips, watch Bruce’s TED Talk on Happy Families at
httpS://www.ted.com/talks/bruce_feiler_agile_programming_for_your_family.html

-- submitted by Sharry Lachman

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