Wondering Who You Are

Wondering Who You Are: A Memoir

by Sonya Lea

Tin House Books, Portland, Oregon,  2015     326 pages
 

In the twenty-third year of their marriage, Sonya Lea’s husband, Richard, went in for surgery to treat a rare appendix cancer. When he came out, he had no recollection of their life together: how they met, their wedding day, the births of their two children. All of it was gone, along with the rockier parts of their past — her drinking, his anger. Richard could now hardly speak, emote, or create memories from moment to moment. Who he’d been no longer was.

Wondering Who You Are braids the story of Sonya and Richard’s relationship, those memories that he could no longer conjure, together with his fateful days in the hospital — the internal bleeding, the near-death experience, and the eventual brain injury. It follows the couple through his recovery as they struggle with his treatment, and through a marriage no longer grounded on decades of shared experience. As they build a fresh life together, as Richard develops a new personality, Sonya is forced to question her own assumptions, beliefs and desires, her place in the marriage and her way of being in the world. (from the book jacket.)
 
Throughout the book the author mentions her spiritual curiosity and Zen meditation practice, but it’s not until the end that she really explores the non-dual significance of living in relationship with a partner without memory who simply lives in the present moment —someone who has misplaced his samsaric identity — which provokes her in turn to question her own. A fascinating read!
 
— review submitted by Mora Fields

Thanks to Merry Song for donating this book to the library!

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